life is like a game of chess

everything is the same no matter where you are— realities living in USA vs France

picture I found on Pinterest, by the late poet Mary Oliver.

Life is like a game of chess so they say. But I won’t even ask myself why that is or else I’ll go insane. 

Today has proven to be so though. And I’ll tell you why that is.

I woke up today with newfound optimism in my never ending saga that is trying to obtain my student visa that I renewed last April. 

To tell the story briefly, I renewed my visa last April to stay in France for another year. It usually takes 2-3 months to process, so when I wasn’t receiving any updates in August. I started getting worried. 

In September I got a message from Estranger en France (a portal to renew, request all things visa related) saying that my file was closed and to wait for an SMS message to make an appointment at my prefecture. 

And they explained that the reason I couldn’t see updates on my file was because my renewal was done on an “ancient system.” 

Whatever that means.

Well, all the holiday seasons came and went. And by January I needed an answer. 

Not getting any response from my prefecture whether I called or emailed. I asked associations for help, in which I also got no responses back. Even had a friend that works in an association help me mail a letter to the prefecture in which legally they have to give me a response on where my visa is.

All for them to not respond back but to send me two envelopes saying they received that said letter. And for some unknown reason, my FNE number is no longer recognized in the system so I’m quite literally not able to make an appointment on the website. 

So, two weeks ago I went to a visa agency consultation in which they informed me that I simply need a lawyer to deal with this matter and that they can help for the ripe price of 690 euros.

Uhhh I’ll pass on that.

At last, last week I went and got a lawyer on my own that my friend referred me to. She sent the prefecture an email and they finally responded back on Monday afternoon saying that my visa has been there since September 24, 2024….Yeah.

I had to pay 150 euros for a lawyer all for them to finally respond back saying they’ve had my visa this entire time. I can pull my hair out just thinking about the fact that they could’ve just informed me that months ago, as it’s literally their job.

Today is the day I thought, the day I was finally going to pick up my visa once and for all. 

I woke up at 7:30am to get to the prefecture by 9:30am. But after waiting in line for 3 hours, the security guard who had just let 6 people in 30 mins before 12pm, comes out to tell everyone to leave as they’re closing for the people without an appointment. 

Mind you I was the 2nd person in line at that point. So yeah. That’s why I’ve accepted the fact that life is like a game of chess and you have to learn how to play in order to win.

It’s sad to accept that reality but for some reason that is the way the structure of our society has been created for humanity. 

I feel like a fool in many aspects.

1. I was waiting for a measly SMS message to make an appointment at the prefecture.

2. I wasted all these months when my visa was ready this whole time. Hindering my own way of living, being able to work, travel.

3. I didn’t go earlier today to the prefecture. 

4. I didn’t take more action earlier on so that it didn’t have to come to this. 

As I have to renew this visa by the end of April if I want to stay in France another year.

It’s easy to blame myself for not acting sooner, but after all this, I’ve realized the true fault lies within the system. It’s built to make you feel powerless, to frustrate you into giving up. It’s my first time dealing with bullshit bureaucracy rules and they make everything complicated on purpose.

That’s why I kind of have to accept that life is the same everywhere, no matter where you find yourself. Whether in the USA or in France, institutions make things complicated for the general public for no reason other than to keep you confused. 

There are things in the USA like the healthcare system, the credit system that will make you want to peel your skin apart trying to understand why they function the way they do. 

I think at 21 years old when I first came here as an Au Pair I had this idealized image in mind of the typical Parisian life, where I was going to “find myself” abroad. 

When in reality I’m losing and discovering myself each and every day. If I choose to stay here I need to learn about the bureaucracy and find strategic ways of going about it so I’m not in this same situation again. 

And I kind of learned a bit already because of this whole ordeal. If I don’t get a response on my renewal process next year I will go to whichever prefecture I’m situated at and demand for help in real life. Not through emails or phone calls, but by taking action quickly. 

This whole visa ordeal got me thinking about how bureaucratic systems, no matter where you are, seem designed to confuse and trap you, like the corrupt credit system in the USA. 

Yesterday, I saw this TikTok that talked about this entirely. 

The creator, Jezabelle basically explains to you the truth on how corrupt debt collectors and the credit system in the USA is. Once you learn how to play their game, you’ll no longer be bullied into paying and owning credit bureaus so much money. 

She explains how to dispute money, the importance of disputing through multiple credit bureaus, how to threaten credit bureaus to take them to court… like everything. She really breaks it all down so even a sixth grader can understand.

I don’t even live in the USA right now but if I ever do again and I end up owing money someday, I will be using her advice because it’s actually insane. 

One user wrote: “Did a 30 day dispute letter on a $16k debt and they mailed me back a 4 sentence paragraph saying I no longer owe them anything. I cried to and thanked my dad for teaching me this.”

That’s so insane to me. If that user didn’t know about disputing credit like she does, she’d have a glooming $16k debt over her head for who knows how long.

Life is like a game of chess and you have to play the game, like actually.

There is life changing information out there. Knowledge that can enrich and propel your circumstances for the better. It’s up to us as individuals to seek out information because unfortunately no one’s going to teach you it for free. 

There’s so many comments under Jezabelle’s video saying I wish we were taught this in school, I would have never learned this on Instagram..etc 

It’s sad but it’s true. Unless you take Finance as a major in university or something, you’ll never know the ABC’s on how to understand and finesse these credit systems that be. 

You can’t go through life thinking that these systems are watching out for you because they’re not. I was spending my days these past months wondering when the prefecture will inform me about my visa simply because it’s their job, when they didn’t and they clearly won’t. 

With the French political field moving far-right it seems, if I had thrown my hands up and given up on my situation and moved back to the USA; I’d be one less immigrant the prefecture would have to deal with. 

But I won’t and that’s why I’ll wake up even earlier tomorrow morning at 6am to wait in line at the prefecture at 8am. An hour before even the workers arrive. 

Because I will get my visa, I will, I will, I will. 

Unfortunately, whether it’s navigating visa systems, understanding credit, or just trying to make a life for yourself in a world that seems designed to complicate everything.

Life is, undeniably, like a game of chess. You don’t always get to choose the rules, but you can always choose how to play.

Don’t let these systems beat you down. Don’t let them crush your hopes, your dreams, your goals. Don’t let them rob you out of everything you want in life.

Whether it’s the dream of living in another country and discovering a different culture, or having good credit to be able to buy a house, a new car. The sooner you learn how to navigate these systems, the quicker you'll make the right moves.